Concerning Belief

After reading over my previous two entries, I would like to make sure my readers do not see me as being negative about my recovery.  When it comes to fully believing something is going to occur in your life, I see nothing wrong with this approach.  It is my opinion that you can never tell someone exactly how to deal with a situation in their life even if you have experienced the same.  This is ultimately impossible because every soul is unique and every individual must decide their own course of action in their lives.  Only the individual can truly look inside themselves to find the answers.  When it comes to paralysis, having absolute faith in a full recovery is going to occur may be the best option for one person, while accepting and moving on may be the best for someone else.

 

Many times in dealing with tough situations such as tragedy, a person must evolve in their approach to what they have been dealt.  One must have the willpower to accept this evolution and continue to seek for the answers rather than getting stuck in a mindset that is ultimately destroying them.

When I was first injured, if you look back at my earliest writings, you can see that I had no doubt that I was not only going to walk again but I would run, jump and things would be exactly as they used to.  I knew this in my heart and this image of my full recovery was what kept me going every day, telling myself when frustration occurred that it was only temporary and things would get better.  Having no doubts about my recovery at the time was what I needed to do in order to survive and there was nothing wrong with my faith in recovery because I felt it in my heart and in my bones.  No one could tell me different.

As time passed my recovery was slower than I could have possibly imagined but I continued to hold on to the firm belief that I would recover fully.  Slowly frustration began to overwhelm me as every day I pushed and pushed in my rehab but could barely notice the effects of my work.  Eventually I realized my firm belief in a full recovery was no longer resting on my heart.  My conscience and subconscious were at war with each other, battling over doubt versus belief.  After searching my soul I found that holding on so tightly to my faith in a full recovery was doing me more harm than good because rather than living in the moment I was waiting for a certain moment in time to be happy.  From there my mindset evolved to the point in which I concluded that I just don’t know what exactly the future has in store for me.  I then began to try and absorb myself in the present moment, knowing that as the seconds passed healing was taking place but where it would lead me I did not know.

My soul and mindset continues to evolve as I pass through each stage in my life contemplating what is the healthiest approach I should take to my present situation.  Having beyond a doubt belief is not a bad mindset if in your heart this is what you truly believe and it is not hindering your ability to grow as a spirit.  Even though I do not know if I will run and jump once again, I continue to hold on to firm beliefs for my future.  I know that a good amount of recovery will take place, exactly how much I do not know.  I also know that no matter what happens in my situation I’m going to live a beautiful and inspiring life.

I always ask myself, what is the best mindset I can create which will lead to my maximum potential for healing?  My conclusion at the moment is that there is no one mindset which leads to miraculous healing.  What is important is that the body, mind and spirit are in harmony with each other, working together, blending peacefully with the divine.  I believe healing does come from the mind but this is not where healing begins.  A balance of health begins with the perfect essence of spirit, which when consciously connected to balances the mind, which in turn balances the body.  It is my belief that striving to achieve this balance has more healing potential then forcing myself to conform to a certain mindset of conscious belief.

So this is where my evolution stands at the moment.  Thank you for taking part.

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6 Responses to Concerning Belief

  1. Patricia says:

    Colin – Your words are of unbelievable depth and growth all the time. I love reading what you are thinking about. I do want to apologize if I have compared my own injury too much, all I have to work from are my own expereinces, and never want to appear to have found the "right" answer for all – I still struggle with my own answers. I much believe that every individual is different and will grow into their own answers, personally, in their own time and place. It is very personal, otherwise their would be a manual – and i\’m not sure the world could handle one absolute as such as each individual is always growing and learning new wonderful things and discovering more. There is beauty, extreme beauty in that, as well as uncertainity. There have been times of uncertainity where I literally think -ugh, I wish there was a book to tell me what to do. But then I would not have discovered and explored and continue to do so. There is so much to life. That\’s what ultimately makes it interesting and also fun. i\’m not sure if I quoted the saying here but there is a saying that "you can never step into the same stream twice" – the water is always moving and as I sometimes return to moments of frustration from my injury I realize that each time, although it may seem the same, the emotion is new because of time and living in between. This makes frustration or that feeling of "ugh I\’m back to feeling this way again" more acceptable to me each time -because i realize that it is "different" frustration and that let\’s me know that I am moving forward – if that makes sense. I constantly think of recommending different books to you, like "Miracle in the Making" a book of a spinal cord injury of a football player at my alma mater, Penn State, (I haven\’t read it as I lent it to someone who knew him), –but then I think of how much you grow each day in your own beautiful way. I lost a lot of time that I don\’t remember from my brain injury, and it warms my heart to watch you love the present moment so much. Sorry so long of a comment. You are thought inspiring. -patti

  2. Colin says:

    Hi Patti,That was a great comment. Thank you very much.You have an awesome mind and spirit.Colin

  3. Tina says:

    Hey Colin,Am I allowed to be proud of you even though I dont even know you? I love what you wrote. We all have to follow our own path and I am glad that you have decided thats what you need to do for yourself. And I dont in any way find you to be negative about your recovery. People who make judgements about others based on one ore two blogs are very narrow minded. So dont feel bad if you are feeling negative sometimes. To me you\’re just a guy who is trying to figure it all out. And I\’ve got news for you…….you already are living a beautiful and inspiring life.Tina

  4. Keith says:

    Hi Colin,I hope I get these questions right. Up untilabout 18 months into m accident, i didn\’t want to live. It took awhile to get used to the idea i was \’stuck here\’. Soon after hat, i went to college and my entire outlook changed – FAST. There were lots of other people in chairs, all willing to help nd be a frien. It\’s not weakness, i think for some easonit nearly has to get you down to a certain level, then you literally wake up one day and it\’s all up from there. Things get tremendously easier and better. As far as \’getting things back\’, if youre incomplete, you probably have, and will regain significant movement and sensation. It happens up to 2-3 years later. I could move none of my left arm for over a year. now i can life it pretty well. Nothing wrong there either.Seems to me yu\’re doing great. I wish i could tell you more but it\’d be typing nonstop for a year. If there\’s anything i can do for you, dont hesitate. or email – keith@troutmanweb.com

  5. Shannon says:

    Colin,I can see what you mean about accepting things for the way they are right now. I think a lot can happen once a situation is accepted. I have two sets of aunts and uncles, both of which were told they could never have children. Both sets adopted two children. And what happened as soon as they accepted things for the way they were? BOTH aunts got pregnant. So perhaps that is the best thing afterall! And you are right when you say its so different for each person. I have some people ask how long it will be until they get over the death of their mothers (asking me, because my own mother has been dead for 24 years). I tell them it all depends upon the person…there is no set time line for it. Everyone is different and things will happen differently for each person. I have a new picture on my blog with my most recent entry…you will probably get a kick out of it so I hope it can give you a few more laughs!Take care and have a great weekend!Shannon

  6. Kelly says:

    I think you have a perfect mindset for what you are going through. If you believe that you will recover…believe it and don\’t let anyone sway you from it. You\’re a tough guy…I, for one, have faith in you. Kelly

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