The Secret’s Out

So I’ve been keeping a secret for the past few days.  I have wanted to write about it but I was not sure if it was appropriate to do so.  I have now been given the go-ahead to share my experiences and I am ready to let the cat out of the bag.

Tuesday morning I was of course in front of my computer checking my various e-mails and message boards and came across an e-mail entitled Dreamhealer.  The appropriate chemical reactions fired within my brain and my heart began to beat a little faster as all of my bodies blood flowed directly to my face.  “Is it possible?”  I thought.  “Did I actually get a reply to my e-mail?”

I opened the e-mail and discovered that a correspondent of Adam had tried to get in touch with me a week earlier to set up a distant healing session with him.  Somehow the e-mail did not get through.  I wrote him back stating that I would of course be ready at any time to work with Adam.

I went outside and felt very much at peace within myself.  Over the past week I felt like I had released a lot of anger which had settled inside of me in a very nonconfrontational and flowing manner.  I have struggled so much with acceptance in these recent months.  I have fought a constant battle on what I should accept, how much of it I should accept, and wondering if what I am accepting is restraining or harnessing my ability to create in life.  It has been obvious to me whatever I was doing was not having the impact I would like it to have because anger and frustration were constantly festering within me.  Yes, I have the right to be frustrated and angry.  I’m paralyzed, who wouldn’t be frustrated.  But living angry is no way to live.

During a session with my shrink I probed my mind for the reasons why I felt frustrated during the times the emotion flared up the most.  I imagined the times when I’m in the bathroom being cathed by my mother.  My once private areas are open for viewing as my mom lubes up a plastic tube and slides it down my ureter, an act that should have me writhing in pain but instead is only a slight sting.  My blood boils and my teeth clench at every moment of the process.  I close my eyes and pretend it’s not happening.  The moment, the visual image of what is happening does not seem real to me.  It’s still as if at any moment reality will set in, not the reality of paralysis but the reality that paralysis never happened. 

The main thought which leads to anger during the moment in the bathroom is “I can’t believe this is happening.”  The fact that I cannot accept what is going on leads to anger because all I try and do is shut it out and banish it from my senses.  This is impossible however because the fact remains that the moment is happening and the moment when I broke my neck did happen as well as the past year.  It’s not a dream, it’s not a fantasy, it is my life.

Lately I’ve been telling myself something which is not easy but through peace will not be found unless I realize this fact.  I’m paralyzed.  I don’t say this to make myself feel worse or to set a future for myself, but to remind me that yes, on July 10, 2004 I broke my neck.  There’s no going back in time and there’s no changing what happened to me.  The only thing I can do, is go on from here without bitterness, regret, or blame for my unfortunate accident.  When I continually deny my past and shut out the present, I only cause myself further unnecessary turmoil, but through accepting my past and opening my senses to the moment peace is found.

As I sat outside after receiving the e-mail that Adam may be helping me, I finally found a piece of faith within me.  I discovered that faith is not something you describe or define, it is an instinctual feeling, a resolve that the future is not to be worried over or stressed.  To have faith is to know that, in the words of Bob Marley, everything’s gonna be alright.  By having faith, by seizing opportunities, by connecting to spirit, and by letting God know your desires, the fragments and pieces of life will always come together.

At that moment I felt my life being molded and shaped by an infinite power.  Opportunities seemed to be suddenly opening up in my world and begging me to grab on with both hands.  All I had to do was reach out and grab hold of the reigns.

I closed my eyes and began to meditate.  I meditated nearly all morning preparing myself for a nonlocal contact with a 19-year-old teenager who has a gift which contains the possibilities to change my life.  Around 1:40 I went inside to eat some lunch.  I had a psychology appointment at three, then Bob, my dad and I were going to the gym.  I checked my computer once again for human contact and found another e-mail from the dreamhealer web site.  At 11 a.m. Vancouver time, that very same day, Adam was going to connect with my energy and take a look around.  I yelled to my dad to see what time that was here.  Two o’clock he hollered back.

In 15 minutes Adam and I were going to connect on the level of quantum energy.  Nerves began to bubble and I quickly replied back that I would be prepared.  I was told only to find an area with no distractions and to sit back and relax for 20 minutes.  I ate a very quick lunch, got the dog in his crate, turned off all the phones, and went in my room and shut the door.

I began to pay attention to all sensations I was feeling. At first I felt nothing abnormal. Weird sensations are constantly present throughout my body, especially in my hands and legs. This time however, slowly the sensations seem to reach a different level. My legs seemed to slightly vibrate and the sensation then moved to the buttocks region.   An intense warming sensation began to spread through my entire body almost to the point in which I was feeling hot but still comfortable.  Slight twitches occurred in various muscles, mostly upper body, but no more than the usual occurrences when I meditate.  The vibrations and tingling sensations continued and I slowly entered a deep state of meditation unlike any I have had before. I became extremely relaxed but still completely conscious and at times I felt as if my body was expanding, as if the energy inside of me was inflating me like a balloon. Without speaking I talked to myself, mostly trying to open my subconscious to the healing efforts. I wanted to be an open book for Adam, not letting any negative thoughts or pessimism stand in the way. Strange, indescribable sensations would occur in certain locations from time to time in my legs.

Overall, the experience was not a miraculous event that had me jumping out of my chair and crying out “hallelujah!” But I can definitely say that the time Adam and I spent together in the quantum world was unlike any experience I’ve ever had. I felt a deep sense of peace and overwhelming calm. I felt an extreme overall sense of awareness over my body and I mentally knew that something larger was going on inside of me, larger than anything I’ve experienced. My dad came and interrupted by meditation 40 minutes after we began. I struggled to open my eyes and I could have sworn it had only been about 10 minutes. My dad asked me to describe what happened but it took me a little while to collect myself and analyze my feelings.

I have no idea what went on on Adam’s end of the spectrum or what he was able to see in his connection with me.  All I know is that Adam said it didn’t look like my spinal cord was severed, which I already knew.  I don’t think he focused too much on healing during the session, but I could be wrong.  Apparently, when Adam has the time he is going to do another session with me which will probably take place sometime next week.

Amidst all the changes that are occurring in my life recently, this thing with Adam seemed to come out of nowhere.  It is by far the one thing I would like to focus on most in my life right now but it is not entirely possible with the arrival of the CAP program and Bob.  The past day or so I found myself slowly getting a bit stressed at the overwhelming occurrences in my life.  I’ve been tending to imagine future events going wrong or missing out on opportunities because I wasn’t in the right place at the right time.  I realized today that by imagining that these problems may occur show’s a lack of faith on my part and actually may urge these problems to occur.  Instead of worrying or stressing over problems which have yet to exist, the best thing I can do is simply stay connected with my spirit, be aware of the signs, and have faith that the pieces of the puzzle will fall together.

No guarantees have been given to me on what Adam can accomplish in my situation.  I am also given no guarantees on how long Adam will be able to focus on my case.  I’m trying not to let my expectations get too high or my hopes to great in protection of being let down.  I am not completely doing away with hope however, it is my hope that Adam will be able to jumpstart my own healing potential and once done will be able to let me go on to continue the healing process.  There is no way to tell what the exact physical outcomes of this experience will be but I’m going to make sure that the full potential is reached.  No matter what the outcome, I feel blessed to have been given an opportunity that many do not get to receive.

I know many of you out there are probably skeptical of Adam but please do not judge or think negatively about the situation.  The best thing you can do for me is to believe that Adam has genuine intentions and has been given a gift from God which contains the powers to help me and others.  By directing these positive thoughts towards Adam and I’s collaboration you’re ultimately playing a role in determining my fate.  Thank you.

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10 Responses to The Secret’s Out

  1. Patricia says:

    Yippeeeeeee!!!!!! I have such hope for you! I am so glad for you. I am so proud of you. I am so overwhelmed with thoughts that I can\’t seem to remember all that I was thinking when I read your words. I speed through your update, reading as I was so excited for you on so many levels. I am so happy for you that words can not express. Know that my faith and hope is always with you and that I have always felt a positive feeling whenever I visit your site -even on your rough days you have this amazing spirit. It comes through in your words and the thoughtful way of expressing things as you do. You give off a positive energy – that is tremendous and filled with hope. You have tremendous faith, understanding and insight. This is a gift that is inside of you that you share so willingly with others. You are an incredible person. Believing in you always -pattip.s. I had the same tendency to worry about the future as you brought up. I think some of that is natural for everyone, but your insight on it is so genuine and your ability to decide on how you will handle any and all situations in the present is what makes you all the more amazing. No, angry is no way to lead this life. I remember having to decide that. I also remember and still do ask people the obvious question, "this happened to me, right? Did this happen? Did I really hit my head?" the answers are so obvious and yet seem so unreal to me at times. I guess sometimes I use the moments of not focusing on it though to help me move into the present and try things – new things that I can accomplish with hard work. I find that when I feel more like – yeah this happened to me – that sometimes I dwell on that too much. There are times that I need to, but by far, I have learned far more by focusing on what I am able to do and not on or because of, or around my injury- just focusing on life and all the stuff I love doing. When I think about my injury it always feels surreal – I think many things feel this way -even extreme happiness sometimes -ya know how people win the lottery and they say no way for like ever. Well this is the longest p.s. in history. I am so happy for you!!!!! I\’ll be thinking of you with best wishes and also with appreciation of who you are as a person. Best to you – patti

  2. CallieHuggles says:

    Hi Colin….Ya know, it doesn\’t matter what other\’s think … Adam isn\’t doing anything that is cauging you Physcial HARM, sothere is NOTHING wrong with that…Most of us who are totally Honest th orselve are our OWN worst critics…The nasty people inlieare the ons who criticizes others and do not look at themselves…I beleive your Opptomism and Outlook are going to get you far.. I believe you will be able to achieve the best of your ablilities, and you have found the KEY TOO…For Each HUMAN Breathing, the Past is in our Yesterdays…We are unable to fix it, alter it, change it, take it back…IT"S in the past…Striving for goals of tomorrows are a good thing… wanting Goals for Tomorrows are a good thing, we are unable to live in Those EITHER…Each of OUR TODAYS are all WE have, So that is all we are capable of living in….GIVE COLIN A break will ya??You are Just like everyone else, we have no choice but to LIVE IN TODAY… One Breath at a time….You hve the SPIRIT and the KNOWLEDGE within you, even at your young age…. Meditation at your age and belief in the power of SELF heling is avey poweul and poitiveideolgy….You hve it within you, that will always give you the best chances you willhave to achieve a better Ine day at a time…{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Huggles }}}}}}}}}}}}}}Callie

  3. Katherine says:

    Colin, I looked through your Mohawk/bball pics and you are a very attractive man. Don\’t sell yourself short. You make the assumption that "Rhonda" was giving you a pity look. Maybe. Or maybe she was attracted – didn\’t know how to start a conversation with you and was stuck with a possessive boyfriend to boot.

  4. Unknown says:

    Good morning Colin,That was an incredible experience. I couldn\’t agree with Callie more, Adam is doing nothing to harm you, so even if people are skeptical, WHO CARES!!??I\’m so glad to hear your spirits are up, that\’s a great break through for you. I can\’t even begin to imagine all the things that are going through your mind right now, but all I can say to you is this: as stressed out as you must be, at least this time the things that are causing you stress can only bring you good in the end. Bob, your CAP program, and of course Adam…these are all poistive things that can only help you, it just so happens that they all came into your life at the same exact time!! That is pretty overwhelming, but think of it this way Colin. For maybe the first time since your accident, your being bombarded with GOOD things, not illneses or infections, hospital visits, and more embarrassing procedures. This may sound pretty dumb, but this is good stress…(if that even exists..??!!). All you have to do is take it in one day at a time. As the days pass, you and Bob will work out a good routine, and hopefully next week, you\’ll have another session with Adam.I\’m so glad to read one of your posts and finally see that things are starting to go your way, I can\’t think of anyone who\’s more deserving of finally getting some peace and fortune in their life. Just relax, and let the good stress in…Take care Colin,~Andrea~

  5. Unknown says:

    Colin,I have to admit, I am personally quite a skeptic when it comes to the healing powers of individuals. But I also believe there are a few out there that truly do have special capabilities. I am sending positive thoughts your way in hopes that Adam can do something for you. That is great that you have already had one "experience" with him and hopefully more to come. I truly hope that something will come of this for you, if only a more positive outlook (but hopefully much more!). I applaud you for having the strength and willingness to accept this possibility into your life….you never know what will come of it so why not? Good luck.And I love the new "do". It is very becoming of you….and it must be entertaining asking your parents to help with your mohawk.roxanne

  6. Tricia says:

    There are human healers – shamans, witches, druids – and it seems Adam as well. The only things I know about him is what you have written, but it seems that you have faith in him and that is what matters. He seems to be the real deal, and I have nothing but hope for you in your working with Adam. The role of a human healer is one misunderstood gifts and roles thus you will always find skeptics and non- believers. People have a hard time believing in constructs (things that they can not see but do exist). If I remember correctly, please correct me if I am wrong, at one time you felt this way. You had issues with Reiki. I think you said something that at first it would not have been your thing, but now you would think about trying it. Same thing with the people who tell you Adam is full of it, they just can not think in an abstract matter. Something as sustained the human race for so long, and it has not been science. Bottom line – I believe in Adam and human healers and you got my prayers.

  7. KATIE says:

    Collin,I have been reading for a bit now. I am extremely impressed by your drive and attitude with life in general. It sounds like you are an amazing person, someone everyone should be lucky enough to know.Best of luck with everything. I will return to see how you are doing!! :)Katie

  8. Patricia says:

    Hi Colin – hope you had a nice weekend -just stopping by to say hi -patti

  9. Shannon says:

    Hey Colin!Glad to see you finally posted about this event! Im sure it feels great to talk about it! Definitely keep me posted…you have my email so feel free to use it! I am very anxious to hear what happens after your next session!Take care bud and hang in there! Things will happen!Shannon

  10. Anita says:

    Very amazing.Europe is quite popular for people like Adam.I myself have been to \’radiosteta\’ myself, and he heal my visoin. (when I was about 5 or 6 I was nearly blind… now my vision is 20/20 even after all therse years…)I understand the feeling of warmth, and the time laps thing… I have it in my hands … as I mentioned.It\’s almost like the gift that was given to me, now I shae with others…In case of my \’healing touch\’ I can only do it for most people.When I touch some … my hands get really cold…Just recantly I have learned of the sacret gift of \’healings\’.It\’s our awsome God working THROUGH our human hands… I will start writing about that stuff soon.As soon as i wil part with my grandfather.I am glad you had this experiance… God is so awsome to bring adam into your life!I will be praying for your healing as always…-Anita

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