Thank you to everyone who joined in on the session yesterday. The feeling I got during the session was different than the previous two and afterwards I felt a little disappointed. The warm fuzzy feeling was not as intense but there were several positive effects I noticed which I’m trying to focus on more so than what I didn’t feel. I’m not going to go into the specifics because I’ve decided not to go into as much detail when discussing my experiences with Adam. This is not going to be easy for me because I always tend to be very forthright and honest about what’s going on in my life, but I’m realizing lately that this isn’t always appropriate. Don’t worry, I will continue to let you all know about any physical changes I experience.
I plan on trying to organize a gathering of consciousness sometime soon. I have been brainstorming the idea over the past couple of days and I would like to shift the focus away from me and have the goal lean towards the healing and wellness of all who are involved. It would be much more rewarding to have the effort focus on others rather than just myself. My own personal well-being should not be my goal, it should be the well-being of all.
Onto other news, I’ve scheduled Bob for a total of 32 hours next week. The CAP program began to give me a hard time about not having a set schedule so I decided to go ahead and take the plunge and maximize the amount of help I’m getting. In the beginning I was trying to get used to having a stranger help me out during my day-to-day life and was going to slowly integrate him more and more. I’ve changed tactics now and I’m fully inviting Bob into my private life so that the chips may fall where they may. Bob will be coming in shortly after I wake up Monday through Wednesday and staying throughout the afternoon. When he is not needed he will simply occupy himself until his help is needed. At first I thought this was rather strange but I now realize that this is simply how the program works for people like me. On Thursdays and Fridays Bob’s days will be shortened to four hours.
Once again I believe this is a step I need to take and even though it does not feel like much of a step towards independence now, I may feel differently in the future. Although my parents may not like to hear it, the less that they personally do for me, the more independent I will feel.
My main focus at the present moment is to bring myself back towards the art of meditation, something I seem to have strayed from recently. I do so because I feel like a cluttering of my mind is taking place and I need to cleanse this traffic jam by bringing myself back to my spiritual essence within my heart. I’m also going to be focusing a lot on my healing visualizations and embracing the spirit of Christmas. Oh what a wonderful time of the year!