With the arrival of winter swimming is a task a little harder to motivate for. During the summer I could get out of the pool and bask in the glory of the sun afterwards, warming my skin and revitalizing my energy. This of course is not possible in the winter and instead I must bundle up and make the trek across the Arctic into the van and back to my home where a warm shower awaits me.
My strongest desire yesterday was to do absolutely nothing. More than anything I wanted to dull my mind with pointless activities and drown myself in my lack of energy and somber attitude. But of course Bob was to arrive and I couldn’t let my employee get off that easy, so I forced myself to do what I had to do. I constantly try to get myself to accept each moment and absorb myself in what I am doing with peace and tranquility. Yet yesterday I was constantly wishing I was doing something else and couldn’t wait until it was all over.
It’s such a shame I am developing this horrible attitude toward water. Before my injury one of my most favorite activities was visiting the indoor pool and swimming laps. It was the most refreshing feeling to enter the cool water and reintroduce myself to my lineage of aquatic life as all my muscles worked together to slice through the molecules of hydrogen and oxygen. For the moment nothing else mattered except for the fluid teamwork of my muscles to get me from one end of the pool to the other. Afterwards, my muscles were relaxed and jello-like. I breathed easier and my mind felt purified.
Now when I enter the pool, all I can think about is how cold I’m going to be. My mind is constantly on the warm shower that awaits me and the journey of coldness in-between. Every once in awhile a brief moment will occur in which I absorb myself within the water. With both ears beneath the surface, the sounds are calm and soothing. For that moment I am no longer cold and I am no longer waiting for the future. But once again it is only a glimpse.
Today the skies have cleared and the sun has emerged. I’ve yet to step outside but my energy is 10 times more so than yesterday. I’m physically ready to take on the day and I feel motivated to accomplish whatever needs to be done. At the moment I am a warm but it can always change in an instant. But now is not that instant, now I am warm.