Yesterday was very much a social day. I started going back to the lady who used to cut my hair in high school. I used to always go to her and tell her all of my problems as she cut my huge bushy hair. Calling her up and going back was almost like stepping back into my past which isn’t easy for me to do. It ended up being a good thing and I enjoy my appointments with her. Yesterday started out with a haircut in the morning and then I headed to the gym. I hung around outside for a while with my aid Wesley trying to breathe in the moment and discover the feeling of peace within me as I gazed at my surroundings. I didn’t quite get there.
I purposefully went into the back door of the rehab center so I could stroll through inpatient at the hopes of running into people and boy did I ever. It has been a while since I have been up to that area early on in the day and it was good to see some people I have not seen in a while. After a short workout downstairs I heard the lady who helped and still helps me with my wheelchair arrangements was leaving the rehab center not by her own choice, and they were having a goodbye party for her.
The idea of the social situation made me nervous for some reason so I headed up there with an outpatient therapist. Somehow however upon entering the situation I ended up all by myself with what seemed like a hundred eyes watching my every move. I made my way into the atmosphere of the gathering and discovered the somber mood of what was supposed to be a party. It was obvious no one wanted to see her leave and for good reason because in my opinion she is excellent at what she does and the seating clinic as well as the entire rehab center has just taken a huge loss. Why you would let someone go of this stature I do not know.
After my appearance I headed back downstairs to do some more exercises then headed home. I took a shower to get all the itchy hairs off my neck and then called my friend Natalie, ASAP coordinator. Half an hour later my dad was dropping me off at her house so I could watch King Kong with Natalie and her sister. It felt good to be able to get into someone’s house and simply hang out. It’s also always fun to hang out with Natalie of course. She’s like an antidepressant for me and does a good job of lifting my spirits. All friends should be like that, but I guess it’s not fair to put that sort of pressure on people. If you can’t lift my spirits than get out of my life! I hope you can sense the sarcasm.
By the way who out there has seen King Kong? The new one of course. I think I need to watch it again on my own before making my decision. At the time it seemed like just one big adventure story with way too much adventure and not enough plot. I could probably appreciate it a lot more if I had seen the old ones.
There probably wasn’t much point in telling you all what my day was like yesterday. It just seems strange as yesterday was a good day and today I feel so blah. The feeling is stagnant and moist. It seems to be hanging over me, dragging me down. It’s not too awful a feeling but it would be nice to be able to shake it. I shouldn’t really complain. I don’t get down nearly as much as I used to. I’ve been able focus much more on my blessings rather than complaining about what has gone wrong in my life. Many times at night right before going to sleep, I’ll meditate on everyone out there in the world who has it worse off then I do. I imagine poor children in dirty streets. Adults and children in hospital beds suffering from extreme pain, severe illnesses, and progressive diseases. I imagine people who have no support system, friends, family, or finances. Once I feel compassion for these people I began thinking about people who don’t have it as bad as me but are still struggling and I’ll even feel compassion for them because suffering all depends on perception. Overwhelming myself with compassion extends my thoughts beyond myself and my world and suddenly I have stepped out of the boundaries of my reality which I create, a reality which only exists in my mind. By extending my vision outside of myself I further complete who I am by merging with the oneness of all creation.
My latest reading has been “Hands of Light: A guide to healing through the human energy field”. As I’ve said before I believe we all contain a tremendous power to heal and I believe there are some people out there who have been given special gifts to easily tap into this power. The author of this book, Barbara Brennan, is one of these people. Basically the book states that everything is made up of energy and energy is the predecessor to all form. Energy is all around us, makes up our bodies and we subconsciously mold and shape this energy throughout our lives. The book is actually very complicated and is very much a textbook rather than a simple read, but I’m finding it very interesting. It’s strange but as I read it I feel as if healing begins taking place. As if while reading I become more conscious of the energy which surrounds me which allows it to begin taking its natural course of healing.
I’m becoming more and more aware these days of the limiting factor of what we see contains. That is, there is so much more to this world and to this universe than what our eyes seem to convey. The reality we see is but a glimpse of the realities which exists beyond the normal senses. Call me a wacko if you wish but as you sit there in front of your computer, be aware that there is much more going on around you at this moment than meets the eye.