Nervousness, I’ve discussed this subject matter many times before and I have pondered over and over again how to deal with this issue of my life. It’s one of the worst feelings when you can physically tell you’re nervous about an upcoming event, you know there is no logical reason to be nervous, and yet there’s nothing you can do about it. The nervousness remains no matter how many times you convince yourself that there is no need for it.
My main problem is that I tend to anticipate upcoming events so that I rack my brain trying to figure out exactly how the event is going to take place and what the outcome will be. It is not necessarily the event itself which makes me nervous but it’s the fact that I cannot say with complete certainty what this event holds for me. I have discovered that most of the future events of our lives are unknown and for many of us this can be quite scary, especially when you want something to turn out a certain way. For example, when I’m feeling the need to approach a girl I’ll run through all sorts of scenarios. What I am going to say, the reply she gives me and then the conversation we will have. Will she laugh, blow me off, leave me in an awkward silence? Will I become a stuttering, bumbling idiot who can’t come up with a decent thing to say or will I be suave and witty? I then realize that trying to imagine exactly what’s going to take place is ridiculous because the fact remains that it is a future event whose exact proceedings are unknown. And that is what drives me crazy, the fact that I just don’t know.
When I look back on my life, the happy times, the sad times and even completely devastating times, at some point everything turned out okay. Anything I was ever nervous or anxious about usually turned out better than expected and if it didn’t, it somehow worked out in the end. I was still alive and life went on its merry way. When I’m stuck in my cycle of nervousness, I know this to be true but yet the conscious knowledge of this fact does no good for me. For in my subconscious fear, doubt and worry still remains as the slide show of possible outcomes continues to run behind the curtains of my mind. Therefore I need to force the curtain open and train my subconscious to overcome the habit of being nervous for no good reason. My conscious shall become the teacher and the subconscious its rebellious pupil.
When visiting my shrink yesterday, I told him I wanted to come up with a mantra or self talk method to combat my feelings of anxiety and nervousness. After some brainstorming and tweaking we came up with this:
“I will face the unknown with confidence… it will work out… it always does.”
A very simple but very effective statement which when repeated over and over again will hopefully convince my subconscious that the unknown is nothing to be scared of because time and time again the unknown has repeatedly proven to turn out just fine.
I’ve only been repeating this to myself a short time but the positive effects were noticed almost immediately. My subconscious is still fighting for its life to hold onto the fear and doubt but it is slowly weakening. Most human beings define who they are through these fears and doubts and it’s not the easiest thing to breakthrough, but the possibility to live life without fear is there and I am going to strive to achieve this possibility.
I would like to urge any readers out there to come up with a mantra of their own. Step back and look at your life, your emotions and actions that coincide with these emotions. Does it logically make sense to feel and act these ways? Would you like to change? Many people don’t even realize that their emotions are governing and shaping their lives. It’s important to step outside of the mind and become an observer of your own thoughts and emotions. You then can decide whether these thoughts and emotions are shaping your life in a negative or positive way. Consciously realizing that you need to change is the first step and probably the most important. You can then come up with a simple statement which will transfer that realization from the conscious to the subconscious. Consciously knowing something has very little power when the subconscious continues to disagree.
The mantra I have come up will work well for a large issue which is present in my life but I have found that is not appropriate for all times. Nervousness is not always the emotion which makes me uneasy. Many times an emotion will creep in which I cannot define right away and I must step back to observe what the emotion is and what is causing it. When I’m feeling irritable or I’m fighting the present moment I will remind myself that I am a divine being who is one with God. Realizing the divinity and presence of God within and all around me brings me a feeling of peace. The important thing is that I quiet the mind so as not to let it control me.
In the past I’ve gotten quite sick of always having to talk to myself. I wished that I could stop having to convince myself of everything and just let events of my life flow naturally. I now have come to the conclusion that talking to yourself is quite necessary and is a healthy way to grow as an individual. But I cannot simply bombard myself with random thoughts and ideas. I must become an organized teacher of my mind and clearly display the message I would like to send into the deepest chasms of my subconscious. The process will most likely last me the rest of my life and will be changed, shaped, and molded as I go along but the important thing is that I continue to grow and hopefully live in a state of peace and comfort.