I am now 23 years old and I’m not afraid to admit that I’m not the type of person who is okay with getting older. It amazes me how fast time flies and it’s almost impossible to sit back and understand where all the time went. Getting older for me also has a possibility to make me more sensitive of the fact that the all-American plan for a young man like myself has not taken place. I have not graduated from college, I have not moved out of my parents house, and I have no job. Three accomplishments not met which if not for my injury would have people wondering what the heck my problem is and why I’m not doing anything with my life. But because of my injury, I have an excuse to put the American dream on hold for now. I ask myself however, how long will the excuse last? How long before instead of being labeled as a hard-working, inspiring young man who has been dealt a bad card in life, I become the young man who is making excuses and is too lazy to face the real world.
I can really never see myself as being labeled lazy but I do get frustrated with the fact that my injury has not stopped me from getting older but it has stopped me from achieving certain societal based goals that go along with getting older. So what’s stopping me from achieving these goals? Well, nothing really. I took a class this summer to get my feet wet and I felt as if I was slowly moving towards a goal of an education but now plans have changed. Once again I’m refocused on recovery and I’m traveling all over the U.S. of A. to discover the best place for recovery to take place.
How long can recovery stay my life? I have to say honestly I don’t think it can be much longer. Just like everyone else in this world it’s important that I live a balanced life. Even though recovery is taking a large portion of my time I must still try and achieve goals that a normal young man living in America should try and achieve. This is not going to be easy considering all the obstacles I must face on a normal basis, and the amount of time I want to put into my rehab. I’m not sure how it’s all going to take place especially with all the adventurous pursuits my family and I are looking into. All these unknowns are quite okay for now. I’m still very young and have plenty of time but I sure hope at some point I find a sense of decisive direction considering my future before I become an old fart.
I have recently been trying to deal with my urinary infections. I’ve been drinking quite a bit more and doing my catheterizations more often. It hasn’t been frustrating for me at the present time but I haven’t had anything especially time-consuming going on. There’s been no real reason for me to leave the house for extended periods of time so I’ve been able to empty my bladder without stress. I can see these constant catheterizations becoming a problem in the future, for example if I became a full-time student and was away from the house for extended periods of time. I’ve been fooling around with the idea of trying to do my own catheterizations but I have to be honest, I’m pretty pessimistic. Ideally, attending Project Walk would solve all these problems by enhancing recovery. Recovery would let many of my day-to-day problems fade into oblivion. This possibility could occur but unfortunately I cannot put all my hope in this possibility. I must continue to try and live as independently as possible with whatever present function I have. Part of doing that whole balancing act I was talking about.
That’s all for now folks.