It has been proven in my life over the past few months that stepping out your front door and searching for the possibilities, searching beyond what we believe to be true, will open up your mind and spirit to immense proportions. I think the key may be to always search for something more. To keep putting one foot in front of the other and grab hold of all the opportunities that God presents to us.
For the first time in my life I feel like things are happening for a reason and everything is falling into place. Before now everything seemed so chaotic and out of place. I felt like nothing ever went right for me and I could not understand my suffering. Most likely this wasn’t true. Most likely things were falling into place constantly but because I held on so tightly to my control over life that opportunities fell through the cracks and suffering was always noticed. I have now given up control to a higher power. It is my belief that if I continue to do this and continue my devotion, then wondrous amazing things are bound to happen.
Being in Texas for a week was a great experience. I once again met some amazing people which I find is the majority of why being out on the road is so great. It is through interactions with kind and loving people that I find the greatest amount of peace and joy. My dad has a college buddy who lives in Houston and I’m pretty sure they fed us almost every single day and they treated us like family. Conversations with them were always deep and meaningful, and I always left their home feeling as if I had grown just a little more. Human kindness is the best gift one can give to the world.
The main reason for stopping off in Texas was to visit a spiritual healer. Once a day, for four days I visited him in various places where he performed healing sessions with me. I was in Houston for two days and then in Austin for three days. In the past this type of thing would most likely make me very uncomfortable and I could never open my heart to such an idea. But I went into each healing session with full confidence that anything is possible and that there are a few select humans on this earth who have discovered amazing capabilities. I believe the man whom I met last week happens to be one of these people.
During the healing sessions I always felt great amounts of warmth through my entire body and a deep sense of peace and joy would overwhelm me. The healing which takes place is not merely physical but reaches down to the depth of your being, healing your spirit, your emotions, and your body. The idea is to take the places where darkness has formed due to emotions or injury and replace them with divine light. Sounds very simple but I was told that God is very simple, it’s mankind who is complicated.
Every night I was in Texas I could feel the healing energy flowing through my bones. Tingling sensations flew up and down my legs and it was obvious physical effects were taking place. Sadly other more familiar sensations were also taking place and during that week of healing I came down with a urinary tract infection. Not a surprise on a normal basis but it seems odd that I would get an infection during all this apparent healing. My questions were answered when I found out that healing on the levels which I was undergoing deals with the prominent issue not the subsequence effects. My urinary infections are a cause of being a spinal cord injury so that most of the healing went towards the main problem which is paralysis. It’s about healing the whole, not the parts.
During this period I once again tried to fight the infection off without antibiotics. I began drinking a recommended tea along with yogurt each day. The infection was seemingly still going down its normal course of stages, slowly worsening. But the amazing thing is that usually this would be very frustrating for me but even during this time of infection I was still feeling very peaceful. By the end of the week I felt as if there was a power inside of me ready to burst and I couldn’t wait to bring it to the surface. My good mood and high spirits however, frustratingly disappeared the day we left Austin to start making our way to San Diego.
My uncle flew into Austin the night before to help us drive. We drove up to the airport and picked him up and at the time I was settled in a blissful state. The energy level rose even more when my uncle entered the car exuberant and oozing a positive attitude as usual. It was great to have him there and the help he would give over the next few days would be invaluable. My dad and I could have never done it without him. I am extremely lucky to have such great family support.
That night, severe spasms struck and I began to release urine uncontrollably. Even so, I sucked it up, stuffed a wash cloth down my pants and began heading toward San Diego. As usual I felt like this could have finally been the time where I could beat a urinary infection without antibiotics, but in the back of my mind I knew that the journey would be tough. We hadn’t gone long on the road until I had a sudden attack of bladder spasms. Quickly we went from 80 mph to zero as my dad pulled over to the side of the highway. The wash cloth did its job effectively and soaked up any leaking which occurred but the stressful situation was already getting to me and my dad. The same process occurred several times on the first day of driving and we were unable to get to our scheduled destination for that day. On top of the bladder spasms I was starting to feel very flush and my bones and muscles were achey. My determination was still strong to stay off of antibiotics but along with my determination there was much frustration brewing.
To make a long story short, Friday night I gave in and pulled out my backup supply of antibiotics. Trying to find a natural remedy for my constant urinary infections is important right now. The most important thing for me is to be healthy so that I can put all my energy into project walk. Fighting of that infection was draining me mentally, emotionally and physically. After my two-month period of project walk I will begin to find a more natural way to achieve a healthy bladder.
The final two days of driving was not easy for me. It’s all kind of a blur when I look back on it. Driving through the desert, fighting of spasms, feeling hot and then cold, and my aching shoulders constantly pestering me. I was growing very frustrated. Frustrated that the blissful feelings which I gained the past week were completely gone. I felt that maintaining joy and peace was important to holding onto the healing energy but I could not escape frustration. I even broke down at one point when the situation became too unbearable. I found my emotions at the time were much deeper than simply frustration with being sick and I believe much of it might have been connected to the healing which I received. During a group healing I was told that I have a lot of repressed anger which I agree with. Getting the infection, and then the testing of my egoistic self, broke me down and in the end I believe the release was very healthy.
Arriving in San Diego late Sunday afternoon was incredible. It suddenly hit me how far we had come, all the way across the country to get where we were. The odometer read 2844 miles. I recommend that every person should drive across the country at least once. But you can’t get caught up in the distances or the miles and miles of pavement. You must absorb the new sounds, the new colors and the fresh voices of those around you. You must experience the moment and not the anticipation of getting where you’re supposed to go.
Sunday night I was completely exhausted and was questioning whether my first appointment at Project Walk could even happen. That night my muscles and bones were still aching and for some reason I grew very hot that night as I slept. I got very little sleep and was questioning whether or not I should try and cancel. In the end I decided I had come all this way and was going to push through whatever problems I might face to do what I have to do. I took a power nap later on that morning and went to my first appointment at Project Walk.
The first session went very well. I was tired but feeling a lot better and working out was a good thing for me. My potential for recovery quickly became apparent to me in the first 20 minutes after I was put on what is called a Total Gym. You may have seen the commercials with Chuck Norris, but basically it is a machine which allows you to do squat exercises. You’re laying down at an angle and your feet are on a flat surface. The flat surface behind you slides up-and-down so that you can bend your knees and then straighten them out. I knew I had a slight push in my legs, but when I went down a little less than half way and suddenly popped up with no assistance I was quite surprised. I was able to repeat the process over and over again throughout the workout session. My muscles would fatigue and then I would bend over stretching out my back. For some reason doing this fired up my legs once again allowing me to get more repetitions in. My dad never saw it which is a shame because I am pretty sure he would be freaking out. I tried to explain it to him but I don’t think he understands the magnitude. He says, “I already knew you could do that.”
I am also beginning acupuncture treatment now and getting it twice a week. I had my first session yesterday afternoon after my workouts. It wasn’t quite the same experience as the last time, but the main focus was to rebalance my body so I could sleep well and regain my energy. Last night I think I slept better than I have since I left Charlotte and I am feeling much better.
So I am finally here. I still can’t believe it. Thanks again for every ones support, spoken and unspoken. I know there are a lot of people out there rooting for me.