I’m now in the middle of my last week here at Project Walk and my emotions are very mixed. I’ve really enjoyed my time spent here, I feel I’ve made some great progress, and I also feel I’ve learned a great deal about myself through the experience. Knowing that this is my last week I’ve been trying to really absorb the surroundings and gather the experience into some sort of file which I can store in my brain. It was my hope that my time spent here would be like a bolt of lightning telling me with great certainty the path I am meant to take at the present time. However they’re still remains a great amount of uncertainty within me concerning where my family and I are meant to be. Project Walk is an awesome place and I’m certain that I can make significant strides in recovery if I were to attend long-term. This should really be all I need to know, but it seems I have other adventures lingering around inside my head which still need exploring. As I said before, I’m trying not to push myself to make a decision because it is not yet necessary. The answers will come to me when the time is right.
I find when I step back and simply take the pressure of myself to know what steps lie ahead, I rather enjoy the uncertainty and the adventure of not knowing where I might end up next. I think most people enjoy a certain comfort zone. Becoming familiar with the people and the environment around them. But I’m having fun constantly meeting new people and introducing myself to new places. I know I will eventually have to settle down somewhere and find some sort of a routine, not only for me but also for my parents. I cannot continue to drag them all over the country for the rest of their lives. Direction will be necessary so that we can all establish goals for our lives and then set out to reach them. A stable home and environment is necessary for many of these goals. An example for myself would be working on my education and gaining personal independence during my daily activities.
In my previous entry I spoke about my continued struggle with urinary infections. Even though I have been on a maintenance dose antibiotic, I’ve continue to have symptoms of an infection. I ended up getting a culture to try and find out what kind of bacteria is causing the problems and how much of it has colonized. It turns out that I have a bacteria called Klebsiella, which has grown resistant to the antibiotic I was taking. This certain bacteria is known for infecting the bladder but not showing as many symptoms as other more common urinary infection causing bacteria. I thought before seeing the results of the culture that I may have been getting better naturally but it turns out I had a pretty bad infection and didn’t even know it. I’m now on a strong antibiotic and will be taking it for two weeks to really try and cleanse the system. I’m hoping when I get back home I can get off of the drugs and finally find a way to stay healthy naturally. I think hiring a nutritionist could be the best way to go. I’ve been primarily focused on taking supplements which focus just on the bladder, but a more holistic approach may be necessary where I focus on boosting the entire immune system so that my entire body is in balance.
I am surely going to miss the people I’ve met here, the beautiful weather, and of course all of the exercise I’ve been getting, but I am really looking forward to getting back home. It will be great to have my own room again and be able to get privacy whenever I like. Having a hotel as a home has been good because it has created a small community of friends but unfortunately I have trouble finding much private time. I’m sure after a couple days of alone time I will start growing antsy again to begin the next adventure. I’m also pretty sure that I’m going to realize how much I did enjoy San Diego, Project Walk, and the entire experience after I’m gone. Right now North Carolina is calling my name and I’m going to go home and enjoy the Christmas holiday in the comfort of my own home. After that, who knows, but I can’t wait to see what happens next.