The frustration which I spoke of in my last entry has dissipated a great deal. I was very antsy at the time to get things going again so that I could feel the positive influence of making bold decisions and reaching wholeheartedly for my dreams. I then made the decision to visit Austin, Texas so I could get a good dose of energy healing to catapult me into my next phase of recovery and get all that I can out of my upcoming Atlanta trip. I thought about the long drive halfway across the country, being in Austin for a few days, the long drive back, and then immediately starting my intensive exercise program the next day. The thought of all that traveling weighed heavily on my mind but I felt that getting some more energy healing was important so I had to brave through it.
Days passed, and frustration was somehow replaced by optimism. More and more-so words escaped my mouth portraying my lack of enthusiasm concerning the long road trip. Conversations were had, and back and forth I went not knowing the correct plan for the present time.
The past year or so I’ve surrendered a great deal of my decisions to a higher power, leaving it up to God and simply following the signs. It was not a very comforting feeling when I could see no signs and the decision seemed to rest solely on my brain. To go or not to go to Austin before Atlanta seemed to be this huge decision which could seriously affect my life.
I wonder how much control the small decisions in our lives effects the larger picture? When you look at your life history, you’ll notice that certain events which seemed small at the time, lead you in a certain direction. Once at your next destination or possibly even along the way, another seemingly small event takes place and shoots you down another path. Throughout our lives we create a web of history, each cluster of events creating a beautiful design which is only a small patch of the massive, majestic creation of our life.
I tend to put a large amount of responsibility on my shoulders when it comes to decision making. What if I make the wrong decisions? What if one small decision sends me down the opposite direction of which I wish to travel? After several conversations and some thinking I realized that it was important to look at the whole picture. There were no for sure signs telling me that I had to go to Austin at this time and I knew that I would be there soon after my Atlanta trip. I was trying to force a direction when without even realizing it, roadblock after roadblock was getting in the way. After a very long thought process I decided that Austin would wait for now. I feel the long road trip would be a stressful one on both my dad and I. I feel much better knowing that I’m going to arrive in Atlanta refreshed, energized, and ready to tackle my exercising full force.
So how do we make sure that we make good decisions? I think for one thing if a decision is very hard to make than it is necessary to sit back and let all the forces at play settle down and absorb into your system. At times listening quietly and at other times talking through it finding the root cause for the desires and the conflicts. Many times the signs we think are absent, are actually right in front of our faces without even knowing it. Life is meant to flow smoothly and effortlessly. It is our tendencies to latch onto some idea our minds have manifested which makes things difficult. Sorting through the baggage can be a long process and making a hard decision can be grueling and stressful, but I think in the end the decision is always an easy one. At least I hope so. I think if you cannot be confident with a decision than there may be a glitch in the web design. I feel very confident at the moment in the path that is laid out before me and it’s a good feeling.
My plan for Atlanta at the moment is to attend the Beyond Therapy program at the Shepherd center on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I hope to attend a program called First Step at CenterIMT. My focus at First Step will not be exercising but I’ll be focused on an integrative program they use to seek out the root cause of illness and promote healing in these areas. I barely have an understanding of this process, so I’ll have to fill you in later. Here is a link…
Thank you for all the support.