I was thinking the past few days of life with a parents and I, would make a fantastic reality show on HG TV. My mom ended up getting a job interview at a hospital here in Atlanta, so my dad and I came along and made our phase 1 move about a week in advance. We were not supposed to be in Atlanta until today actually, but our early arrival enabled us to begin our search for the perfect apartment. After three long days of searching, I finally realized that the perfect apartment doesn’t exist.
Now if I was a completely restored able-bodied person, then finding this home of perfection would be quite easy, but unfortunately right now I am a disabled person living in an able-bodied world where the focus is not on us folks on wheels. Over and over again, leasing agents showed us apparently accessible apartments with tiny little bathrooms. The only thing “accessible” pertains to in these places, is if I can get in the door not.
I knew coming into this thing, that my way of life was going to change quite a bit, and I was not going to have the luxuries of my beautiful roll-in shower and gigantic living space. However, I did seem to think that I could find a place where at least maneuvering abilities were efficient. I’m not saying we did not find anything, but each place we have found has many positives and negatives attached, and trying to make a decision has involved many conversations where the scales continually tip from one direction to the other.
I have trouble with constantly doubting my decisions. For some reason I fear that I’ll make some horribly wrong decision which will send me hurtling down a path of destruction. In the past I’ve continued to make these decisions despite my fear and over and over again things continue to work out. But each time a new decision appears in my life I once again feel the weight of burden. I know that doubt and fear are so unnecessary in life and not only weigh you down in the present moment, but can actually lead to creating less potential in the future.
My latest book has been "The Laws of Thinking", which teaches what the author calls “informed faith”. So often people in life throw up their hands and say, “I’m leaving it up to you God”, and then sit back and wait for the miracles to occur. However, I’m beginning to learn that faith also involves a training of the mind. Developing an ability to quiet thoughts and truly listen to God. Creating a mind which properly envisions a future so that creation is free to blossom and potential can be reached. It is not solely up to God concerning whether or not we achieve our desires. It takes a collaborative effort because we in fact are God, and therefore we have the ability to create anything and everything which we can imagine. What we want already exists in our minds and it’s up to us to create what we imagine.
All of us actually create things each and every day we are alive, most of the time without even knowing it. But because we don’t know about our creative abilities, we are creating things which we did not necessarily want to exist and instead of following the path God has ordained for us, we are led astray. God wants to bless us with achievement, wealth, and success but it’s up to us to listen, find the path, and have the courage to follow it.
One of the final lines of the book hit home with me and stated that we must settle the past, live and focus on the present, and look towards the future with faith and courage. In the past I have been very Buddhist, and have let emotions come and go, trying to experience all of them with the same love and acceptance. I’m sure it was necessary for me to do at the time but right now I am taking quite a different approach. In order to create the future I want for myself a trained and focus mind is necessary, where I am constantly in tune with spirit and conjuring thoughts incessantly which will create a future of success and achievement. These thoughts do not include doubt, worry, and fear. Whenever these unwanted emotions occur I turn inward and repeat thoughts in my head which provide me with inspiration, focus, and peace of mind. Most of these thoughts remind me of my true essence, such as “I am a perfect spirit”, “I am one with God”, “I am a divine creator”, and “I am God”. Other thoughts include “There is no fear, only God”, “I am courageous and self-confident”, and “I am manifesting the future which I desire”. Above all else, I am holding on to my vision of walking again. It is important for us to envision what we want to create so that it may manifest in our lives. Everything which is created begins with a thought. That’s why it is so important to train our minds properly in order to succeed. I believe that if I focus on my ultimate vision of walking again, and maintain the faith and courage necessary to achieve this goal, then everything else along the way will simply fall into place.
I have listened to God and he is telling me repeatedly that I walk again. This one vision stands alone as the one which I know God wants for me. Nothing else at this point has clearly manifested in my mind. Therefore I focus on what God has ordained for my life and my faith in this manifestation will allow God to work his magic along the way. I must simply fulfill my role as a cocreator, have faith in my future, and follow the path which is laid out before me each and every day with courage and confidence. If I’m able to train my mind to do such, then nothing can stop me.