Adjusting to My New Home

 

I have now been living in my new home in Atlanta for two weeks and it has not taken me long to get settled in. I think in my mind I had left Charlotte a long time ago so mentally adjusting to my new environment has not been hard. My mom has spent two weekends with us, but for the most part it has just been my dad and I. My mom has a job interview coming up next week so hopefully she will be joining us soon.

Since being here recovery has been a full-time job for me. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I am at centerIMT from about 11 to six. Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays I am at beyond therapy from one to four o’clock. I’ve been getting up in the morning between 6 and 630, meditating, eating my breakfast, doing the wonderful crap program, trying to get some sort of a shower in, getting dressed and then taking off. I no longer have a roll-in shower so the past couple weeks have been rather interesting. It actually has worked out fine however, and Thursday morning I received my new tub chair right on schedule. A scenario which I thought would be a tremendous hassle and emotionally exhausting was nothing of the sort.

Therapy has been going well but I’ve been finding myself analyzing my recovery with each passing day. This can be rather frustrating as I have not seen huge jumps of recovery but more of a steady progress that continues to incrementally increase. I decided a couple days ago that I need to step back and let at least a month pass before I analyze how much recovery I have had. I can definitely notice myself beginning to do various positioning and movements which I’ve not done before which will continue to build off one another. I am positive that a couple months from now I will be able to look back and be amazed at the progress I’m making.

Since moving to Atlanta, I have truly dedicated myself to creating the life which I would like to live. Of course a huge part of this dedication is going towards the vision of my full recovery, but the rest of my creation is not nearly as clear cut in my mind. Apart from my walking, creation of my life ahead is a piece of art work in progress. At the center of this piece of art is a vision of me standing on my own 2 feet with my hands reaching high above my head. Surrounding me is a dazzling display of colors all created by my devotion to the self-realization of spirit, for I have discovered that this is the primary reason for our being. We were brought here, to this earth, in these bodies to discover our true selves within. To grow as a spirit and face the challenges of this life, overcoming the fear which blinds us from our true nature.

During my last visit to Francis, I heard him talk about heaven and the spirits and angels which come down to help him with his healing. I have not thought much about the afterlife because honestly it scared me. Living this one life, dieing and then passing on to someplace for all eternity did not make much sense to me. Because it made no sense to me, I had trouble believing it and the thought lingered in the back of my head that maybe at the end of this life there was nothing more. Maybe our soul simply merged with God and all identity was gone.

I got home however, and felt the urge to read a book which I had cast aside for the past two years or so. The book is called "Journey of Souls". My dad mentioned the book several times but the book dealt with reincarnation, a concept which made me curious but for some reason indignant of the idea. But I suddenly felt open-minded to the idea of an afterlife mostly because Francis assured me that there is a heaven and it just so happens to be a wonderful place.

I began reading the book and became enthralled by it. The author is a hypnotherapist who is able to tap into the super conscious mind of his patients so that they described to him what it was like to die, go to the spirit world, and then be reborn again. It is hard to deny what these people say because 30 or more people, not in contact with each other, all described similar type experiences of what the spirit world was like. These people were so descriptive with their knowledge, that the author was able to come up with a timeline of events from death to rebirth, and convey why it is we come down to earth and live in these human bodies. The overall purpose of exactly why God feels the need to send souls down to a material world still eludes me, but I now have a heightened sense of purpose and reason knowing that everything I have gone through has been part of a divine plan. This divine plan was in place before I was born, and serves the purpose of providing my soul for the exact experiences it needs in order to develop as a spiritual being. It turns out all the major decisions of my life have already been made for me. However, it is my responsibility to stay strong, be aware of the signs and have the faith to follow them.

I have always been very wary of the idea of predestination. It was much more comforting for me to think that I had complete control over my life and the events which would take place. But I now find comfort in the fact that there are certain things which are just meant to happen, good and bad, and I must simply have faith in God that these events will go according to plan. This faith, and dedication to listening to what God is telling me will provide me with a life full of divine experiences. Then at the time of my death, I will rise from my body, and return to my home. It’s going to be wonderful.

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4 Responses to Adjusting to My New Home

  1. Joell says:

    So much in life we can\’t control and we just have to let go and trust.  We can only do what we have in our power to do. Your introspection is so impressive to read and really makes me think.   
     
    I\’m glad you are settling in to your new home.  Hope things go well for your mom at her interview and that she\’ll be with you soon–permanently!  Take care.

  2. joann says:

    Colin,
    First let me say hello and that I am inspired by your courage and  faith.   I was in an accident some years ago, (I was hit by a train) and I suffered through countless surgeries and physical therapy, I do not have a spinal cord injury, but I did brake both hips, my pelvis in 5 places, both legs, both arms collar bone, neck fractured, severe facial injuries, to the point of being disfigured, I\’ve had many many reconstructive procedures, and it still looks pretty bad, but for a long time people would stare at me inthe street and whisper, it was so very hard for me to accept, children would ask their mothers " mommy what is wrong with that lady, what happened to her face?"  and I would be crushed hearing these questions, the truth is that people are just curious and they don\’t understand, but it still hurts just as bad when they stare. I was unable to walk forthe better part of about 2 years, but through massive physical therapy i eventually got back on my feet. Oh I am also an amputee. I lost almost the whole left foot, so it was even more difficult to learn to walk again. Now I suffer with "phantom pain" which is that the part that has been amputated feels like it is still there and it hurts like the accident just happened and my foot is crushed, the pain is just unbearable, and there isn\’t anything that I can do about it, drugs don\’t help because the foot isn\’t there, but I swear it hurts just as if it were.  Initially the doctors told me that I would never walk again, but I am living proof that the doctors are not always right. Colin, hang in there and keep the faith, you can be a miracle too, don\’t ever stop beleiving that it will happened, it takes hard work and time, so very much time, be patient, I know people may say that it\’s easy for me to say " be patient" but I\’m not just saying it, I lived through it and I still have physical herapy several times a week.  write to me if you want, Iwould loveto hear from you!

  3. Katy says:

    Colin,
    your journey to recovery is simply inspiring. Your story is heartbreaking, and it\’s wonderful that it has opened your eyes to find God. if I may, I\’d like to add a comment to all of your recent discoveries. Colin, you were absolutely right when you declared that there is a Heaven, but there is also another place called Hell. it is just as real as Heaven. The reality is that whithout Jesus Christ, God\’s son, you will go there. But being the merciful God that He is, God gave us a way to avoid all of the pain and suffering from an eternity in Hell. It is the easiest thing in the world to do to be accepted into Heaven, but first, you must know the story.
     
    About 2,000 years ago, Jesus Christ was born of a virgin in Bethlehem. He was the son of God. there was a reason he had to be born of a virgin, he could not have man\’s sinful nature. the Bible says in Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Colin, that includes you and I. All have sinned EXCEPT for Jesus. He lived a perfect life. He had to. He lived a perfect life so that 32 and 1/2 years after he was born, he would be betrayed and wrongly crucified so that our sins would forgiven– even before we committed them. If Jesus had ever sinned, he would have been imperfect, and every person who ever died would be in Hell. but, He willingly went to the cross, allowed Himself to be crucified and had God the Father turn His back on His only begotten Son. If you grew up in church Colin, you probably memorizd this verse: John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." That everlasting life Colin, refers to an eternity in Heaven with God. That\’s not the end of the story though. Three days after Jesus died, He rose again.
    He was alive!!! Jesus fought a battle in Hell with the devil (who is also very real) and won! Now, anyone who will accept Him can go to Heaven.
    All you have to do is admit you are a sinner. (if you \’ve ever told a lie–even a white one, or cheated on a test when you were in school, or even sneaked a cookie out of the cookie jar when you were little, that makes you a sinner) Then you must believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord God, and then all you have to do is ask Him to come into your heart, forgive you  and save you. That\’s all you have to do to spend an eternity in a perfect Heaven with our perfect God.
    And Colin, remember, the answers to life and eternity are not found in a book by a hypnotist, they\’re found in God\’s book, the Bible.    

  4. James says:

    Colin,
     I know well what you are going through. I had the chance to got to Alanta for rehab but I have kids that I need to get back too and carry on with life.  I love hwo you stated that "wonderful crap program". That was one of my biggest probelm. I could never get it too work out no matter. So with me having so many
    accident there was no way I could go back to work even though the company I work for was going to create a job. It been 10 years now and home care would not help me because of my cost of supplies so I had a Colostomy last year. I wonder why it was never offer before?. My life has change and I feel so much better about myself. I have no more problems with my bowels and the only problem I see is that the chance of skin break down but it working out for me very well. At least I am able to take care of myself and not have that long bowel program that never worked for me.
     
    Take care my friend and keep up the hard work
     
     
    livew00t

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