I have now been living in my new home in Atlanta for two weeks and it has not taken me long to get settled in. I think in my mind I had left Charlotte a long time ago so mentally adjusting to my new environment has not been hard. My mom has spent two weekends with us, but for the most part it has just been my dad and I. My mom has a job interview coming up next week so hopefully she will be joining us soon.
Since being here recovery has been a full-time job for me. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I am at centerIMT from about 11 to six. Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays I am at beyond therapy from one to four o’clock. I’ve been getting up in the morning between 6 and 630, meditating, eating my breakfast, doing the wonderful crap program, trying to get some sort of a shower in, getting dressed and then taking off. I no longer have a roll-in shower so the past couple weeks have been rather interesting. It actually has worked out fine however, and Thursday morning I received my new tub chair right on schedule. A scenario which I thought would be a tremendous hassle and emotionally exhausting was nothing of the sort.
Therapy has been going well but I’ve been finding myself analyzing my recovery with each passing day. This can be rather frustrating as I have not seen huge jumps of recovery but more of a steady progress that continues to incrementally increase. I decided a couple days ago that I need to step back and let at least a month pass before I analyze how much recovery I have had. I can definitely notice myself beginning to do various positioning and movements which I’ve not done before which will continue to build off one another. I am positive that a couple months from now I will be able to look back and be amazed at the progress I’m making.
Since moving to Atlanta, I have truly dedicated myself to creating the life which I would like to live. Of course a huge part of this dedication is going towards the vision of my full recovery, but the rest of my creation is not nearly as clear cut in my mind. Apart from my walking, creation of my life ahead is a piece of art work in progress. At the center of this piece of art is a vision of me standing on my own 2 feet with my hands reaching high above my head. Surrounding me is a dazzling display of colors all created by my devotion to the self-realization of spirit, for I have discovered that this is the primary reason for our being. We were brought here, to this earth, in these bodies to discover our true selves within. To grow as a spirit and face the challenges of this life, overcoming the fear which blinds us from our true nature.
During my last visit to Francis, I heard him talk about heaven and the spirits and angels which come down to help him with his healing. I have not thought much about the afterlife because honestly it scared me. Living this one life, dieing and then passing on to someplace for all eternity did not make much sense to me. Because it made no sense to me, I had trouble believing it and the thought lingered in the back of my head that maybe at the end of this life there was nothing more. Maybe our soul simply merged with God and all identity was gone.
I got home however, and felt the urge to read a book which I had cast aside for the past two years or so. The book is called "Journey of Souls". My dad mentioned the book several times but the book dealt with reincarnation, a concept which made me curious but for some reason indignant of the idea. But I suddenly felt open-minded to the idea of an afterlife mostly because Francis assured me that there is a heaven and it just so happens to be a wonderful place.
I began reading the book and became enthralled by it. The author is a hypnotherapist who is able to tap into the super conscious mind of his patients so that they described to him what it was like to die, go to the spirit world, and then be reborn again. It is hard to deny what these people say because 30 or more people, not in contact with each other, all described similar type experiences of what the spirit world was like. These people were so descriptive with their knowledge, that the author was able to come up with a timeline of events from death to rebirth, and convey why it is we come down to earth and live in these human bodies. The overall purpose of exactly why God feels the need to send souls down to a material world still eludes me, but I now have a heightened sense of purpose and reason knowing that everything I have gone through has been part of a divine plan. This divine plan was in place before I was born, and serves the purpose of providing my soul for the exact experiences it needs in order to develop as a spiritual being. It turns out all the major decisions of my life have already been made for me. However, it is my responsibility to stay strong, be aware of the signs and have the faith to follow them.
I have always been very wary of the idea of predestination. It was much more comforting for me to think that I had complete control over my life and the events which would take place. But I now find comfort in the fact that there are certain things which are just meant to happen, good and bad, and I must simply have faith in God that these events will go according to plan. This faith, and dedication to listening to what God is telling me will provide me with a life full of divine experiences. Then at the time of my death, I will rise from my body, and return to my home. It’s going to be wonderful.