My Faith Grows Strong

I have once again returned from another long journey to Austin, Texas to see Francis the healer. The two-day drive used to bother me and would frustrate me to the point where I wasn’t always sure that the trip was worth it. But with each consecutive trip to see Francis I further realize how important he is in my life on all possible levels including the physical impact I know he is having and will have on what is now a broken body.

It is truly amazing to me the power of healing energy I can feel during the healings. Once upon a time I was not sure if I could even feel what was taking place. But now the healings have become so powerful that it is undeniable that a healing energy is coursing through my veins. Monday I experienced the most powerful healings I’ve ever gotten. Francis says I am like a magnet now absorbing incredible amounts of energy, double the amount that I absorbed during my previous visit. With each time I visit Francis the energy is building off of the previous time, opening me up to embrace further healing.

The first night back here in Atlanta I woke up to the sensation of my legs literally sizzling, like hot fajitas coming out of the kitchen. An anxious feeling overcame me, desperately wanting to move my legs but not being able to. At the same time I could feel a burning throughout my trunk muscles and into my chest. Once again, these are all very exciting signs of my body coming to life. Yet I know that I must continue to be patient and not get caught up in too many expectations. I now know that I’m going to be healed but I can’t not know exactly when this is going to occur. But knowing that the time will come, there is no reason in getting all worked up about knowing exactly when major recovery is going to happen. I do know however, that I must continue to see Francis. He is the central key to my recovery.

Not only do my visits to Francis have effects on me physically but the spiritual effects are also immense. My faith in God, and in purpose and reason become more clear than ever. I realize I’m a perfect spirit experiencing this life with the purpose of growing closer to God. I further realize that there are no accidents and everything which we experience is part of a divine plan. My love for this life and everyone around me grows. I become more forgiving, more accepting, and less judgmental. I see the presence of God all around me and instead of looking at a person and only seeing flesh and bones, I see a perfect spirit also working through trials and tribulations, discovering the strengths they are capable of in the midst of their fears.

I have realized that you can always fall back on love. Releasing the control I feel I must have over people and over my life, I can love myself knowing that I’m doing the best that I can while fulfilling a higher purpose and experiencing what I’m supposed to experience. I can love everyone knowing that they also are doing the best they can and fulfilling their own purposes. Never should I feel hurt by the actions of others for in some way, shape or form they are helping me fulfill my purpose as well as I am helping fulfill theirs. By this I mean that we all have a role to fill in each other’s lives. Many times it is hard to understand what his role is or how we are supposed to act in accordance with this role but that is all part of the plan. Looking within ourselves and learning from each other. Finding a way to see past the material world around us, see past the emotional hurt and pain which feels so strong, and see past the fear attached to human nature and discover the love of God present inside and all around us.

It is my goal to love unconditionally. To love without expectations and without attachments to my own desires. I want to strip myself from the need of approval from others and discover that all the love I need can be found within myself. I honestly doubt I will ever reach that point. It is possible yes, but I can’t deny that I do wish to be loved. Yet even though the goal is lofty and seems unattainable, there is no harm in reaching for it. For I believe that is why we are here, to reach for what cannot be seen or heard. Only felt through some sort of premonition deep within ourselves that there is something large, magnificent and beautiful beyond anything we can imagine.

In the coming weeks I hope to update my readers and supporters of my newfound physical improvements. However if I find myself frustrated by the slow pace of recovery or none at all I shall remain faithful. Maybe to the outside world I am a nut with a hopeless dream, but I’m going to walk again.

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5 Responses to My Faith Grows Strong

  1. jd says:

     … and discover that all the love I need can be found within myself. I honestly doubt I will ever reach that point.
    Realize that love is not something "other than" yourself, something that needs to be found … realize that you are love, period.

  2. Beth says:

    Colin, I had tears in my eyes as I read this post.  I stopped and said a prayer for you that God would keep you safe in His care.  Your words speak of a  wisdom far beyond your years.  I have faith that you will walk again one day.

  3. Patricia says:

    Gosh Colin – you are so wonderful!! The fourth paragraph of this hit me so hard I have the desire to wallpaper a room with it! And then I read the rest and thought Wait! this whole entry should be a poster that wallpapers an entire room!! So that your words and wisdom are always remembered each day! I continue to be so taught by your entries – by your lovingkindness and spirit. Reading your blog now for I don\’t know how long we have been writing, the ups the downs the middle emotions – all of them – I want you to know how lovable you are and want you to feel that love for yourself as well – you mentioned that it is hard to feel that love for yourself but you wish to as well – it is hard for everyone I think as I talk about it with friends often – but please know the beauty of yourself – it is so evident. I often wondered if we could do that ourselves – I wondered if sometimes I look so much on the outside for love and approval. And yes, I think that one can learn to love themselves and their beautiful souls – but it is helpeful at times to have friends that remind us of their love and although we do not need others approval to be oursevles because and anyway we are all connected by our souls – it does raise one up to know that love exists. It exists often in actions without words – and I find myself sometimes searching for something else and missing the people who are around me already that I adore and love. I think love is one of the easiest emotions to feel – it is so natural, so almost automatically there – I can see a person in the convenience store – see an expression on their face, smile or whatever, and just feel love – that sounds nutty because… I don\’t know, why does that sound nutty? I think we learn possibly sometime in our lives to be cautious of love not only with others but with ourselves. Someone told me about a year ago that I reminded them of Dharma from the show "Dharma and Greg" I had no idea what she was talking about since I had only seen the show in passing and thought well that makes sense I know Dharma is quirky – but I saw the first season on sale at the store and picked it up recently- I recommend it – it is humourous – like when Dharma\’s family tries to free the turkeys before thanksgiving (sadly they are all so used to captivity that they don;t want to leave the pen – which is a message in and of itself) but they, Dharma and her family, do just send love out to the universe and it is refreshing – their love. I now take it as a huge compliment even though I don\’t know what the girl was referring to in me reminding her of her – but besides that, it makes me want to love everything more that way. well, as usual I am writing way too much here – but what a great entry Colin!! I woke up in a horrid mood to my neighbor banging on her sliding glass door at the squirels eating her bird food – why can\’t she just feed the squirels AND the birds – I have no idea – and then I read your entry here and my whole mood has lifted. You are an incredible teacher, my friend. Incredible. Thank you for brightening my day, thank you for sharing your views. You are beautiful. I believe in you. patti 

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