Something’s happening but I continue to be patient

After my last visit to see Francis in June, I prayed that the healing would result in recovery that truly changed my life in a functional way. Of course it has not happened like I had imagined, but I have accomplished the feat of pretty much doing away with my power chair and solely relying on the manual. It has definitely been a tough adjustment, and has taken some willpower, but I am now at the point where I don’t ever want to get in the power chair. It is unfortunate that I have to use it tomorrow because we are traveling to Virginia to visit my sister and brother-in-law, and then making our way to Pennsylvania for a family reunion.

The past few weeks have been very interesting for me. As usual, the six-week mark after seeing Francis brought some shifts and changes. There was one week where I grew very sick and felt as if I had the flu, but at the same time I could feel energy flowing through my body and felt like healing was taking place. A couple days later I was still feeling pretty rundown but much better. I had high expectations that the sickness would result in magnificent changes but was sadly let down. A couple days later I had a revelation. I realized that I was relying too much on outside forces to bring me the healing I desired. My dad had bought a book called, Healing Is a Choice. Without even reading the book the title brought on some significant thoughts. It made me wonder if I had truly chosen to heal. It then made me realize that through all the magnificent help I am getting to heal, I forgot about my own internal power which has the ability to take control and heal my entire body.

So one morning when I woke up, I made a powerful mental decision that I was now choosing to heal. I began to spend every waking minute healing my body, sending energy to every muscle fiber and telling my subconscious that "I’m healing now". Interestingly enough, a few hours later during my workout I grew very sick once again. The same flulike symptoms. I ended up having to leave therapy early, came home, curled up under my covers and waited for the symptoms to pass. A couple days later I was once again fine. I continued to heal myself constantly refusing to give in to any of my attachments which may be holding me back.

The following week, it was intensive week at center IMT. This is when the head honchos come down from Connecticut and oversee healing protocols for the week. After one day of some very powerful treatments, I once again came home and fell ill. At this point I was kind of tired of continually getting sick, and was wondering when it would stop. At the same time I was grateful because I realized that there were some powerful shifts occurring. IMT helped me get through whatever my body was trying to get rid of and I began to feel better. Since then I feel as if my nervous system has opened up and energy is flowing up and down my body freely and smoothly, like a flowing waterfall. At times I lay in bed, and feel as if at any moment I will jump up and be okay. I close my eyes and try and sum up all of my power to get my muscles to awaken.

Currently, I still don’t quite know what is happening except that I know it is something very good and I feel blessed and grateful. I’m beginning to feel very strong and I continue to feel my nervous system coming alive. I continue to choose to heal every day, and realize that I have the infinite power to create anything I wish. I do not know what’s going to happen in the near future so I will continue to try and be patient, realize how blessed I am to have such wonderful people in my life, and be grateful for every step along the way.

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3 Responses to Something’s happening but I continue to be patient

  1. Beth says:

    This is a very upbeat post Colin and I am very glad to read it.  You are indeed blessed to have family and friends in your life who care about you and your recovery.  I have just said a prayer for you and I am sending good thoughts your way.

  2. Neora Chana says:

    I think it\’s great that you can use a manual chair now; that\’s a sign of improvement no one can doubt!  Your determination is awesome and family/friends wonderful.

  3. Ready to fly? says:

    Colin,
    "I choose to heal," every moment: I like that. As when we choose to devote ourselves to God or to a greater mission or to anything larger than ourselves, after that, every single action or even idle moments are no longer meaningless, but instead are great opportunities.
    Hope you\’re feeling better. I\’ll send prayers your way.
    Abe

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