I wish it was natural to be happy. I wish it was natural to be courageous and to live completely in the moment. I wish it was natural to have faith that God has a plan. I wish it was natural to accept everything that happens to us and to forgive ourselves immediately when we do not act according to our expectations. I wish it was natural to not even have expectations of ourselves.
Instead it is natural to be uncomfortable and frustrated. It is natural to be afraid and to live in the past and the future. It is natural to doubt that life has purpose and there is always a reason for everything. It is natural to fight the natural flow of our lives and to beat up on ourselves when things don’t go the way we expect. It is natural to have huge expectations of ourselves.
This is why life is so hard. Because we have come down to this planet to try and achieve everything which is not natural to being human, but natural for the human spirit. The spirit lives completely in the moment and contains no fear. The spirit understands the oneness of all creation and knows that the essence of God is everywhere. The spirit flows naturally with the patterns of life never doubting the ups or the downs, simply existing, absorbing, experiencing, growing.
I am spirit. The human body is a vessel bringing me passage to this planet so that I may fulfill my purpose. The human body is frail and weak, but the spirit is strong and invincible capable of turning the human body into an instrument of God’s will. It is my purpose to experience the spirit amidst the clouds and confusion of human life. No easy task I know and so many times I fall off the wagon and so many times I will fall again, but it is the essence of spirit which will always pick me back up again. The essence of spirit will live on long after the human body has faded away. "Don’t worry Colin", I hear a whisper in my ear. "Keep your chin up, you are right where you are meant to be".