Rearranging, transforming, experiencing

I made it home safely once again after spending a week with Francis the healer in Austin, Texas. A big transition period always takes place after a week of healing. Initially the experience lifts my spirit to new levels and I become more aware of my reason and purpose. I’m also suddenly more aware of the spirits that surround me every day encased within the bodies of human beings. I look around and I no longer see beings of flesh and bone, but rather see spiritual beings each treading a path of life fulfilling their own unique purpose. I feel a sense of compassion for all individuals knowing that there is no room for judgment, remembering that we are all facing our own challenges. In my own life I find renewed enthusiasm to create, explore, and love.

Usually shortly after I arrive home all the healing energy which I received the previous week, begins to shift and arrange itself in my body. Negative energies begin to leave my space, but before they leave it seems I must experience them first. So as I feel the remembrance of love and compassion, I also feel the emotions of anger, resentment and so on. It’s rather frustrating to feel so much upliftment only to be followed by less pleasurable feelings.

There is no doubt that through the course of this process I’m undergoing immeasurable growth. I am truly blessed to be going through this experience for it has brought on an incredible opportunity to discover who I am. In my process of trying to recover physically, it has forced me to also recover on all levels. I have discovered such grand attitudes towards perceiving what this life is all about and it’s amazing how much I believe in the purpose of life nowadays.

I have discussed lately how I am feeling stuck in life. I’m always wondering what to do and where to go. I discovered one of my problems is that I put too much pressure on myself to figure it all out. Instead of focusing on each day, I put way too much energy on thinking about the future. This past week most of my observations went towards my heart. Instead of resenting the past and fearing the future, I brought myself to the moment and simply allowed my heart to open up.  It is in these moments I feel the greatest opportunity for physical healing to take place.

I do believe that I am a powerful spirit and I do believe that I am capable of creating tremendous things in my life, but I must learn to let go of the need to control all aspects. I always think that I know what exactly it is that I want, but so many times I think what I truly desire evades me. I believe what I truly desire is the highest good for my spirit and I believe the highest good for my spirit will also bring me the greatest joy. By opening up my heart, loving myself for who I am, and loving each moment, I will not only discover joy but I believe suddenly the universe will begin to open up opportunities in my life. Manipulating life does not work but by opening the heart and allowing love and compassion to pervade the senses, suddenly life is harmonious and balanced. Suddenly I will be having experiences that I never even dreamt could occur.

At this point I’m not ready to believe that I can spend every minute of every day feeling joyful and loving. There will be times when I feel down and there will be times when negative emotions are unavoidable. It is in those times that I must learn to not judge but also have compassion for negativity, understanding that life is an experience and I’m not meant to always get it right. Whether I’m feeling happy or sad, I choose love and allow that love to transform me and transform my life.

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4 Responses to Rearranging, transforming, experiencing

  1. Robine says:

    Dear Colinbeautiful written 😀 I know this feeling and you are right, it is about \’now\’ and opening the heart. I believe it will be great to live big parts of your life feeling joyful and loving and I believe that practice will make the parts bigger. But I also believe that painful emotions who make you struggle also have a purpose – they also help you recognize the joyful and loving part. Neale Donald Walsh sent this message to someone, after reading this message I also subscribed to his daily teachings (I have not read his book) and they are so often right on the spot. I love to share this with you:On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…that it is okay to be at a place of struggle. Struggle is just another word for growth. Even the most evolved beings find themselves in a place of struggle now and then. In fact, struggle is a sure sign to them that they are expanding; it is their indication of real and important progress. The only one who doesn\’t struggle is the one who doesn\’t grow. So if you are struggling right now, see it as a terrific sign — and celebrate your struggle.For me this is so true sometimes. If I am stuck in a place of struggle I tend to forget, but afterwards I do recognize what it brought me and that discovery also fills my heart with joy and love. I wish you the best and thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings, love and light from Holland, Sabine

  2. Colin says:

    Hi Sabine,For some reason I am unable to send you messages or comment on your page, so I am replying to you here.Thank you so much for this reminder. I have recently read Neale Donald Walsh\’s book and it is truly amazing. It may be one of the single most impacting books I have ever read. You really should give it a try. The book teaches that there is no right or wrong. Whether you are feeling joy or you\’re struggling, it is all an experience and all an opportunity to discover and create who we are. Choosing love does not necessarily mean eradicating struggle but choosing love can mean loving yourself for however you are feeling. One should practice gratefulness for every moment, because every moment is an opportunity.I agree it is important to pay attention to struggle. I think it is important to observe it and not judge, allowing the experience to occur so that we may let go of it and move forward.Thanks again 🙂

  3. Neora Chana says:

    Hi, Colin,I am really glad to read your latest post. I love that I don\’t see any self-denigration for not loving enough or hoping enough or being enough. It\’s also a wonderful thing that you are learning to stay in the now, even if it is for short periods at first. I agree that it provides a tremendous space for healing.B\’Shalom,(with wholeness)Neora

  4. Anony says:

    Colin, I have been seeing Francis the Healer in Austin, Texas also. He healed me in five sessions. Mine was pure evil black energy. I will not go into detail. Let\’s just say he took it out the first day and the next four sessions all he did was touch my heart and shoulders. I experienced everything you speak about. It is absolutely amazing that what I experienced is so real. As soon as I leave his healing room, the next four hours I can see aura\’s, I can sense people\’s energies, feel their pain, and spot from a long distance away, those who are pure.

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